Braces? No thanks.

I went to the dentist yesterday. Fun, I know. I actually don't mind it horribly. I don't have a fear of the dentist like some other tend to have. I've never had a traumatic experience. Just the normal annoyances that come with any dentist visit. For instance, the fact that my hygienist (and I think I'm pretty safe saying MOST if not ALL hygienists in the world) likes to talk more than she cleans my teeth, therefore my 45 min appointment turns into 1 1/2 hours. I'm not exaggerating either. My regular 6 month cleaning literally took 1 hour and 30 minutes. No flouride, no x-rays. Nada. Just cleaning.

Anyway, back to the whole talking thing. It's always been a mystery to me when it comes to dental hygienists and their overactive mouths. I mean, don't they understand that when they're sticking both of their hands in my mouth, and then proceed to ask me important questions such as, which TOMS do you like better? Silver glitter? Or gold glitter? Either one or both of the following will take place: there will be a long awkward silence and which will feel like I either don't like the question, or are contemplating really long and hard about silver and gold glitter, or are just trying to ignore the person that sits 3 inches from my face. When in fact, what I'm really doing is contemplating the fact that if I do try to answer, it will be completely inaudible and sound quite like a rendition of "Chubby Bunny" and I, very well might begin gagging and choking due to the pool of saliva that has gathered at the back of my throat. I usually go the Chubby Bunny/choking route. Not wanting to appear rude is definitely more important to me than the possibility of gagging to death. I would really like to see the implementation of a mandatory Learning the Timing of Talking and Questions during a Dental Visit 101 class during dental school.

Anyway, there is a point to this post and that is the fact that I was told by my dentist during my visit that he feels it is 100% mandatory I get braces. BRACES. Uuuuuuuggggghhhhh. Are you serious??? Why didn't I get them in 4th grade when they were cool??? (I literally used to pray every time I went to the dentist that she would tell my mom that I would have to get them - that and glasses. What was wrong with me??? Glasses and braces?? Ultimate geekfest. Geeze. Well, I got the glasses wish granted very nicely, since I am considered legally blind these days by the driving/optometrist world. Thanks to stupid stupid stupid 11 year old prayers and bad genetics.) Anyway, apparently the type of bite I have, which is an overbite, is condusive to severe jaw and teeth problems 15-20 years down the road. He says one side of my jaw is working properly, and the other side isn't. Therefore, braces would correct the way my teeth lay, therefore causing my bite to shift into correction position. Yada yada yada. I am SO skeptical when it comes to stuff like this, ya know, huge money making industries that try to convince young middle-class society to partake their life altering, could not live without, services. Braces and orthodontists definitely hold that place in my head. I know they can be necessary at times, and they ARE a life saver to those who have horribly crooked teeth or severe jaw problems. BUT MY MOUTH IS FINE. I grew up with a very very VERY good dentist telling me for 20 years that braces would be beneficial (due to my crooked bottom teeth - purely cosmetic reasons), but not necessary. Then this young dentist has the audacity to tell me that it is 100 PERCENT MANDATORY that I get them! Tell me that's not hard to believe. I have too much faith in my childhood dentist, who not only loves Jesus (thats qualifies you to be VERY good at whatever you do, doesn't it?) and very good at what she does (no, but really, she is), and saw my teeth from ages 4-20, to believe she would have missed the fact that my jaw/bite/teeth will be in dire need of reconstruction come 10-15 years.

I was going to give you some pictures of people with braces just to finish the effect off, and then decided I'd spare you. But I did googled braces. And guess what came up? Tom Cruise and Ashley Judd's picture. By heavens, wouldn't you know that they have both had braces in recent years?? Well if that didn't make me want to jump on the metal-brackets-in-my-mouth bandwagon right now. Please note dripping sarcasm. Just thought it was interesting they popped up.:)

I'll keep you posted. And any opinions/advice/experiences including braces are welcome. Please.