I must preface this. This is little 3 year old boy, Caleb, who you are about to instantly fall in love with, belongs to some of our old college friends. Eric was close to Kevin (affectionately known, and self named Kev-bone) and I grew up around Bonnie's house hanging out with her sisters and brother. Both of these amazing people have great senses of humor and their son is not lacking in this area one bit. The awesome part, is that he's not trying to be funny, as you will read. All of these quotes were taken off of Bonnie's Facebook page as she is constantly making me laugh out loud with Caleb's outrageous quotes. I thought you might enjoy them just as much as I do.
Caleb, watching a home video of himself as a baby... [CALEB] “Aww, I wish I could help baby Caleb.” [ME] “Huh? Help with what?” [CALEB] “I’d help him get out of that gate.”
After Caleb hurt Jack… [ME]: “Caleb, what do we need to do so you won’t forget that you can’t hurt your little brother in anger??” [CALEB] “You could give me a hug and a kiss. That would teach me not to hurt Jack. Not spankings though, that wouldn’t remind me at all. Or maybe saying sorry to Jack. That might remind me ..."
[ME] “Caleb, your underpants are on backwards. Remember, hole in the front.” [CALEB] “I know, but I like them better this way. I wanted Superman in the front, right where I can see him.”
[CALEB after cutting himself on the finger]:"I am bleeding SO bad. Call Daddy right now. Why has God not healed it yet?!? Why are you doing nothing to help me? A band-aid is not going to feel it better. There is so much blood. Blow it a kiss but do NOT touch it with your lips. I think I need to go to the doctors. I don't want to go to the Doctors!! It's really really really bad. Why have you not called Daddy?!? WHAT DO I WIPE ALL MY TEARS WITH??”
[CALEB] “I’m almost 4.” [ME] “Yup.” [Caleb] “I’m pretty excited.” [ME] “Yeah, why?” [CALEB] “Because. When I turn 4, I’ll be big. And then I can just spank myself.”
[Caleb] " I really want a little sister, Mommy. Can we get one?" [Me] "I can't just 'get one.' That's not really how it works." [Caleb] "Okay. I'll ask Daddy then. Maybe he can pick one up on the way home from work." [Me] "Sure. Let's do that."
And this is my personal favorite....
[Caleb after being punished and being sent to bed early] “You’re never going to love me ever again! You’re never going to take me to Grandma and Coach’s ever again! You’re never going to give me animal crackers ever again! You’re never going to take me to friend’s houses ever again! You’re never going to let me watch a movie ever again! You’re never going to give me a special treat ever again! You’re never going to give me my water bottle ever again! I’m never going to help you again! I’m never going to see Jack ever again! I’m never going to be able to stay up and snuggle you ever again! ………I’M GOING TO HAVE A BAD DREAM ABOUT YOU!!